A few months ago, we opened our home to our first foster care placement. We had completed hours of training, mounds of paperwork, had a thorough inspection of our home, and told our life stories to our chosen agency. We bought a variety of toys, extra toothbrushes, had plenty of kid-friendly snacks on hand, and had put together a nice bedroom. When we got the call for our first official placement, I thought to myself, “We are ready. We are SO ready.”
Surely, the hours of training we’d done prepared us, right?
Wrong.
Well, not entirely wrong.
Our first foster children came to us as an emergency placement at 1 o’clock in the morning. We knew nothing about them except their ages and genders. We expected them to come in upset due to the separation from their biological parent. Surprisingly, they were all smiles. They happily told us their names, and had a snack and some water before we attempted to get them to bed.
Our training cautioned us that many children who come into foster care have difficulty sleeping, eating, or may exhibit a variety of other signs of trauma. Aside from some slight sleep concerns, and coming to the realization that both are extremely picky eaters (through no fault of their own — bio parents offered mostly McDonald’s and ramen), they’ve adjusted quite well here.
However…
No amount of training or paperwork could have prepared me for the moment that another woman’s children would call me “mommy.” No class warned me of how my heart would burst when they say “I love you.” There is truly no way to prepare someone for the emotional rollercoaster that is foster care.
I am their comfort, their safety, and their home — even if it’s temporary.
As hard as the visits with their bio mom have been, and as hard as it has been not knowing what the future holds for these kiddos, I am trying my best to relish the time we have with them. I am trying to nurture them and fill them with love.