A Solo Noel: Holidays as a Single Parent

I am not alone. Let me reiterate. I am not alone. I know this because I have two sweet children that monopolize so much of my life (and I wouldn’t have it any other way.) I know I am not alone because when I am sick, I have two additional people to care for. I know that I am not alone because I can’t come and go as I please. If I can’t find a babysitter, I can’t go. It is that simple, and sometimes, oh so frustrating. I have to plan out my errands, and when I look at that massive pile of laundry… I realize that there must be two other humans in my home. If I were alone, I would be well rested. I wouldn’t go through concealer faster than milk. My house would be clean. My ‘To Do’ list would be short, I would have seen every episode of my favorite shows, and I would have hiked every mountain in our backyard.

I am not alone. I am single.

These are two very different things.

This isn’t one of those posts begging for sympathy. I am not playing the single mama card. I just wanted to write a little post to remind myself, and those like me, to serve as a reminder that my (or your) holiday traditions aren’t any less special because we don’t have a husband to share them with.  

One day perhaps, my family will grow, and I will buy a longer table. I will cook more food. I will have someone to look over and smile at when the children do something sweet. I will have someone to share the memories and moments with; to ease the burdens. We will create new traditions while savoring the old, and perhaps then, when I decline invites, it wouldn’t be met with sad glances and rolled eyes. Memories with extended family are wonderful and I do my best to incorporate those memories and carry many of those traditions into my home. Because, really, what is Thanksgiving without green chili,  and Christmas without ‘It’s a Wonderful Life?’ Nevertheless, husband or no husband it is important, no… essential! That I create special memories, moments, and traditions with my little ones.  I am not sad when we eat our small Thanksgiving dinner, or get ice cream and watch the fireworks just us three on Independence Day. I am happy. Grateful in fact, that I am not alone.

I do appreciate the invites. We may just say ‘yes’ more often than ‘no.’ But when I do say ‘no,’ there is nothing personal about it. Moreover, if we don’t receive invitations, I may not even notice because I have something special planned. I cannot have my children raised on the belief that we are “less” than other families or that we are not “whole” because it’s just us. It is important to create our own unique family traditions and special holiday recipes. We need our own memories because we are a family. A small one at that- but little is not less. So, when we get invited to Christmas dinner and I decline because I made prime rib for us three (even though my children at this age refuse to eat most things I make), I know one day we will look back and cherish these special times.

If you are a single parent, I want to remind you that your family is perfect  just the way it is. Life is moving forward, don’t wait until you have a significant other to create special memories for your children. Because as Dr. Seuss said, “Sometimes you will never know the value of moment, until it becomes a memory.”

Happy Holidays from our family to yours!