Dear Daughter: What I Want You To Know in Your Bones


Dear Daughter,

You just turned two and are much too young for a letter like this. But not only do I want you to read this for yourself someday, I also want to raise you so you know these truths in your bones. And I’m afraid if I don’t write these things down now, I’ll blink and you’ll already be grown. These past two years have already gone so fast!

First, I want you to know how loved you are. You were longed for and prayed for before your first breaths. You are surrounded by family and friends who adore you. 

My Daughter… You Are Loved

Even if you don’t feel that love, I hope you know that you are absolutely worthy of love. There is nothing you have to do to earn that worth, and there is nothing you can do to take your value away. Even when you make mistakes that seem terrible, or when you don’t feel like anyone understands you, or when you are terribly lonely, your life is incredibly valuable.

My Daughter… You Are Worthy

Don’t ever give someone else the power to determine your worth. People will probably make fun of you, or pick on you, or tell you that you’re not good enough. There will be times that you will feel worthless and ashamed and sad. It’s okay to be sad about people being unkind. But please don’t dwell in that sad place. Remember all of the things that make you so wonderful. Remember all of the things that make you uniquely, amazingly you. If you forget your many endearing qualities, please let me remind you. 

My Daughter… Keep Hope

Please know that bad days, weeks or months do not mean that the rest of your life will be bad. Things that seem so important today will not matter as much tomorrow, even less next week, and will be practically meaningless in a year. Please don’t ever give up hope that tomorrow, or next month, or next year will see you happy.

My Daughter… Be Kind

Finally, be authentically yourself and be kind to others. Not everyone may understand your style or sense of humor. They may not take the time to get to know you. But be kind to others, especially those who aren’t particularly kind to you. You will regret being mean to someone else when you are mad. You will never regret being kind to someone who didn’t deserve it. In the end, people remember less about things that you think are weird about yourself, or what you wore, or how much you weigh. Instead, they remember how you made them feel. 

This whole letter may seem like one long platitude, but these are all things I wish I had known in my bones when I was much younger. I wish I had been equipped with these truths through school, college, and young adulthood. Maybe it takes time and experience to really own all of these things. But I will do my best to help you get there faster than I did.

With so much love,

Your Mom