My five year old son gave me a kiss right on the lips on the way into school this morning. I didn’t ask for it either, he just did it. My heart was overflowing. It’s moments like these that show why I love being a mother. They are one of the many reasons why I wanted to become a mother. They are the moments that I treasure in my heart and want to remember forever. He’s told me that he loves me so much in the past several months. It makes all the sacrifice worthwhile.
Then there is my two year old daughter. She will come up to me and literally throw her arms around my neck in the biggest hug she can muster. I get so many hugs and cuddles from her every day. She’s the sweetest thing. Sometimes, she just looks at me and gives me the biggest, most genuine smile imaginable. She loves to be picked up, but when we are going down stairs, I can’t just simply pick her up. I have to stand a couple steps down so that she can leap into my arms.
I love them so much.
It amazes me how smart they are and how people so tiny can have such complex and amazing personalities. I love how sweet and loving and trusting they are.
Then there are the frustrations. The disobedience. The yelling. The fighting. The never ending messes being made. It seems that every time I am cleaning a mess in one room, a different one is being made in another. There is crying and seemingly incessant whining. I am needed by someone almost every second of the day. Sometimes it is difficult to even have a thought to myself. Parenting is EXHAUSTING!!
But amidst the chaos, God seems to sprinkle precious moments.
He gave me two pretty special gifts the other night. I had a horrible week. I had been sick for a days and felt terrible. The kids weren’t behaving, and I was so drained, I actually broke down weeping in front of them. My son finally stopped misbehaving and came over to me. “Mommy? What’s the matter? You’re scaring me.” After apologizing for scaring him, I explained how I was just worn out and not feeling good. He then hugged me, patted my back and said, “Awe, mommy, I’ll take care of you. I’ll take care of you.”
Then my daughter, who usually fights sleep to the bitter end, fell asleep peacefully in my arms. We were snuggling on the couch and I asked her if she was ready to say good night. (We have to do the good night tour every night before I put her in bed.) She just looked at me and smiled. Then, she just snuggled up in my arms and fell right asleep. That was the best moment of my entire week.
I want my kids to behave, I really do. My life would be so much easier if they would be obedient at all times. I know; never going to happen. But even more than wanting them to behave, I want them to love me. It’s especially when they do sweet stuff like that… I know without a shadow of a doubt, that they do; and my heart is happy.
