Do you ever get a stray long hair stuck in your shirt? Specifically, stuck in your under shirt… Over here? All the time. I usually have a moment when I think, “Do I need to smack my chest a few times to ensure I don’t have a spider camping out in my underclothes?”
But then I remember that I prefer not to look like a spaz, so I don’t. After seeing a video my daughter did of me, I do not want my girls to have a fear of spiders.
A large black spider slowly crawled across my living room ceiling. He was difficult to ignore not only because of the contracting white ceiling and black body, but also because of his slow, constant movement. This particularly brave arachnid decided it would be best to crawl across the middle of the ceiling, taunting me with his long legs just out of reach. I shouted, “GROSS!” And the spider suddenly stopped moving. He could hear me. That made me feel like he should probably go. I don’t want a spider spy in my house! I stood on a chair and tried to brush the bug off the ceiling with a paper to make smashing him easier, screaming with each movement he made. Gross. He would crawl a little more. GROSS! He would crawl a little more. Ah! Gross!
My little girl, then seven, thought this was hilarious. She asked if she could video me, and since I was caught up screaming at an insignificant spider, I told her yes. I can’t remember if I killed the spider or if I just gave up. The main thing that stays in my head about that spider is the video I watched of myself after the fiasco. I’ve always wanted to exhibit bravery for my children. That that video lacked all the bravery and exhibited all the crazy.
The moment I saw myself in that video was similar to the moment I walk by the mirror for the first time in the day at 3:00 pm. Ugh. Ew, I do not like seeing myself act like that. I do not want to see my girls act like that.
I decided I would no longer scream over a spider. No more spider screaming.
Attempting to catch or kill a spider may cause shouts because of the fear of what could happen. Since there are things that could make me scream or shout, I started to take the leave-it-alone-and-maybe-it’ll-go-away approach. This has worked 99% of the time. When my girls pointed out a spider in the house, I would say, “Oh, leave it alone. It’s probably just trying to find its way outside.” And then I would cross my fingers and hope that it was true.
The more I ignored spiders, the less I cared about them. They can get a little closer to me now and I don’t outwardly freak out. On the inside? Well, I’m maybe freaking out a little. I’m still not at the point that I could even use the spider catcher. A few days ago, I heard my oldest say to my youngest, “No, leave the spider. This is his home and he’ll eat the bugs for us.”
I thought it was the sweetest thing. I’ll take that as my reward for not losing my mind when a spider peaked out from under my computer at me yesterday.