Keeping The Spark Alive After the Baby Arrives


One of the most miraculous things that can happen in marriage is parenthood, and one of the most challenging things that can happen in marriage is parencouplethood. As joyful as it can be to be a parent, raising children is one of the top 5 stressors in marriage.

The first few months and even years of our relationships are usually filled with romance, passion and a dedication to no one other than our partner. We can’t imagine anyone coming between our spouse and our heart during these earlier years, and then it happens…someone comes along who is suddenly competing for not only your heart, but your energy and your time as well…a child.

Suddenly all of the attention and affection that we used to shower on our spouse has to be rationed and it often feels like we just don’t have enough to spare. Obviously, our children need our love, attention and care, but so do our spouses. After all, our children will only be in our care for a fraction of the time that we will be married (we can only hope).

With parenthood, our responsibilities and priorities may change, but it doesn’t mean that we have to give up on the idea of intimacy and passion. There are only 24 hours in a day, so the effort to stay connected does take a conscious effort, but that doesn’t mean that it has to be a chore. One of the best and most recommended ways to stay connected to your spouse is to schedule “Date Nights”.

Remember when you and your partner were first dating? You would spend hours getting ready with giddy anticipation! Now it may seem easier to just throw on a pair of sweats, get some take-out and fall asleep in front of the TV.  Resist the urge. The effort made to nurture your relationship and stay connected will make you not only a stronger partner, but a stronger parent.

Plan your dates with intention. Make the process fun. Remember and revisit the excitement of planning dates, the excitement of “what to wear”, the giddy nerves you felt when your sweetie rang the doorbell to pick you up, the butterflies that you felt when your hands brushed together and the thrilling tension of your first kiss. Don’t bring your kids; don’t even talk about your kids for the few hours that you get to carve out of your week for Date Night. Allow yourself the rare luxury of being in the moment with the very person that you loved enough to create a child with.  They’re pretty miraculous too.

Here are a few Date Night (or Day) ideas that you can enjoy in and around our beautiful Colorado Springs.

Free dates:

Adrenaline Pumping Dates:

Outdoorsy Dates:

What are your favorite ideas for date night?  I would love to hear them!

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Tammy is a corporate trainer and design and development specialist by day and an art loving painter (both water and oil), all-around artist, blogger, wife and mom by night. Although she was born in Missouri, Colorado Springs has been her home for most of her life. Tammy and her husband have been together for 14 years and have two beautiful children, Brandon (19) and Kaeli (16). They both love to hike, bike and travel. Her kids are a little more outdoorsy than they are, spending their weekends hiking, camping and cliff jumping. As they get older, they have watched their friends navigate the empty nest, both successfully and unsuccessfully. In an effort to prepare for this inevitability, Tammy began a local blog, Date Your Spouse Colorado Springs to discuss the importance of nurturing your relationship through continued courtship right here in Colorado Springs. You can learn a little bit more about Tammy on her blog or at her art website. She looks forward to sharing some local tips for Springs moms and learning a few from you.


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