Dear Santa… From a Mom

Dear Santa,

This year, could you please not put any of those cute tiny toys in my stocking? They always end up in the trash within three days. I suspect trash trucks have 90 percent cheap stocking stuffer toys in them after Christmas. Also, please avoid giving me any candy this year. I have been eating Halloween candy secretly for breakfast for the past month, but I think my mid-section has most recently revealed my secret.

I’m going to do something a little out of character and create a wish list for myself this year, Santa. It’s not in any particular order. The numbers are only for reference. If you could just wrap one (or more) of these up in a tiny package and pop them in my stocking instead of the items listed above, that would be great.

My Wish List for Santa: 

1. MEMORY – Specifically with the things I have volunteered for, but also for things I need to do and things I have said.
2. DINNERS PLANNED FOR 2019 – Feel free to leave off “Breakfast for Dinner,” because we had that meal about ninety-five times in 2018.
3. CONFIDENCE – Every time I think I’m good to go in the confidence realm, Self-Doubt starts to creep in. Whatever you do isn’t good enough, it says. Why does your belly feel like jello and look like a muffin? It asks. Pick a better food to look like, it says. If I could just have a little box of confidence to open up each time Self-Doubt starts to sneak in, I’ll pop Self-Doubt right in the mouth with some serious Confidence.
4. CABINETS UNDER ALL OF THE SINKS IN MY HOUSE ORGANIZED – Can you use the cute storage baskets for the fifteen thousand Cabinet Organization pins I pinned on my Pinterest board?
5. KITCHEN FRIDGE DEEP CLEANED (Can you do this before Christmas?) – My girl spilled some jelly back in July on the second shelf, and I just can’t get myself to clean it (to see why, see wish list number 7)
6. ADDITIONAL TWO OR THREE HOURS OF UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP EACH NIGHT – Ideally this would be an additional two or three hours in the night, making the day twenty-six hours instead of twenty-four.
7. MOTIVATION – Free time sounds like a great time to focus on some Netflix binge watching. Can you put something in a box that makes free time sound like a great time to get productive things done?
8. GUILT-FREE DAILY ONE HOUR (MINIMUM) NAPS – Don’t you have some guilt-free dust that I could sprinkle over me before I attempt to take a nap?
9. WITTY TEXT RESPONSES – Sometimes my friends get a text response in seconds, sometimes they get a text response in days, sometimes they get a text response never (see wish list number 1). Do you have a box full of witty ideas to text back?
10. A CARD READY AND PREPARED TO SEND IN 2019 FOR EACH FAMILY MEMBER’S AND FRIEND’S SPECIAL OCCASION OR DAY – Last year I sent out my baby shower thank you cards. My youngest daughter is five.

Feel free to deliver any of these early. Thanks, Santa!