Gray Hairs and Other Things I Refuse to Feel Bad About


gray hairs and other things I refuse to feel bad aboutI’m closing in on 40. I have long believed that the 30’s are the best decade, but am starting to wonder if my 40’s may be even better. The longer I live, the less I care about what others think of me, and I care more about how I feel about myself. I feel like the 30’s have brought me to place of acceptance of myself as I am. My 40’s are gonna be full of living that truth! Here’s a list of stuff I refuse to feel bad about or change about myself, no matter what society says.

  • Gray Hair. My dark brown hair is getting fuller of rogue gray strands. It’s been happening for a while, and before long, I’m sure the grays will be very noticeable and prominent. Guess what…I’m not dying my hair anymore. I’m going natural. I have earned every gray hair. Each one represents wisdom, experience and perseverance.
  • Curly Hair. My hair is also natural curly and can get a bit out of control at times. I decided to just go with it a few years ago. I keep it shorter now, and let it do its own thing. No more time spent flat ironing this head. Let the curls flow!
  • Bad Feet. I’ve got plantar fasciitis, and my feet hurt pretty often. I wear supportive shoes and cannot always be fashionable. Next time you see me wearing my capri or jeans with my sturdy shoes, please know that I don’t care what you think. I must be comfortable, and take care of myself.
  • Not Wearing Much Makeup. Yes, there is much freedom in putting your natural face forward. I know I have left over “pregnancy mask” pigmentation from TEN YEARS ago still gracing my face. I know it looks like age spots, and I know foundation could cover it. But it would also cover my real self. I enjoy my natural look. Mascara and some lip gloss are my go-to’s.
  • Sun Hats. I have a heinously large sun hat from Walmart that I purchased for $2.87. I enjoy wearing it to sporting events, gardening dates in my yard and anytime I could get sunburned. No, I’m not wearing an appropriate sun hat outfit. I’m probably wearing capri pants with my tennis shoes, but, I’m loving that hat for its benefits.
  • Moving Away From Babies. Gosh, I loved snuggling my son when he was a baby. I loved kissing his velvet soft head and singing songs over him while we rocked in the chair in his room. But now that he’s nearly ten, I don’t long for those days any more. I love the stage where we are. He is self-sufficient, and I enjoy getting to know him as himself. I do not miss being needed constantly. 
  • Bingo Dates. My husband and I recently went to play bingo at an actual bingo hall for the first time. Loved it! We didn’t win anything and were some of the younger patrons, but it was a fun way to spend an evening. Bring on the bingo!
  • Loving to Learn & Being “Brainy.” Smart girls are cool girls; didn’t you know? I love to read, do research and learn about new subjects. No more apologizing for knowing about something that most don’t. No more downplaying my smarts.

At the end of the day, it’s really about figuring out who we are as women and finding ways to love that person. We cannot be who we are not. I spent most of my 20’s trying to be things I am not, and I spent my 30’s searching my heart and mind to figure out who I am and learning to love her. I want to spend my 40’s living that love with joy.

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Gretchen has lived in Colorado since she was 12 and never wants to leave. She has a 13-year-old son who is into having a good time, especially with sports and Fortnite. Together, they are navigating the teen world of puberty and growing up. She has a wonderful husband, having been surprised and blessed with a second chance at love. Their family enjoys playing board games, watching Avengers movies, and sharing dumb jokes over good food. In her free time, she loves to read, shop for purses, play games, watch football, laugh with her family, cook delicious food, and dream of the next home improvement project.