If you ever visit our home you will likely hear us saying this in a sing song voice to our youngest as a reminder for him to use his words to ask for what he needs. It’s actually been quite useful with our entire family.
But let’s be honest…I’m horrible at it. Not the sing-song voice part, the asking for help part.
I can give you a number of excuses as to why I struggle asking for help. I learned at a young age to pull up my bootstraps, get through and get ‘er done. I can grit my teeth and get by. It may not be pretty, but it’ll get done.
A week before Christmas, an ectopic pregnancy left me bed ridden and in need of emergency surgery, all the while grieving a loss and helping walk our kids through it. We had sweet friends offer to watch our kids, bring meals, shop for and wrap gifts and just come and lend a listening ear. I wanted to say no, it’s ok, we can get by, because we could get by. But as I swallowed my foolish pride and admitted, yes, yes we need the help, something became very clear to me: by not asking for help, not only was I missing out, I was depriving others of the joy of helping.
There are different seasons in all of our lives as mothers, seasons where we are more equipped and capable of extending a hand to help and seasons that are just as important when we need to learn to ask and accept help. It doesn’t make the helper better or more put together than the one being helped, it just makes us all on this same roller coaster journey of motherhood.
I wish I could always be on the helping end and not the needing help end, but of course that’s not realistic. Hard happens, whether it’s a hard day or a hard season. I don’t want to to underestimate the importance of learning to say “Yes, thank you.” when someone offers help.
Do you find it easier to give help than accept help? We know mothering is hard and life isn’t always kind, but how can we help each other as moms to accept help?