This article was written for mamas with a toddler boy as their oldest child. If you have a girl, feel free to read this article. But know you will probably finish this article and thank your lucky stars that you have a girl. At least when it comes to potty training.
I would like to take this opportunity to put out there the potty training warnings that I didn’t see before I skipped with rainbows and unicorns into “the potty training weekend” with my two-year-old son, Ajax. While I’m not claiming to be the most well-read on potty training, I did throw down a few Google sessions, Pinterest stalkings, and made several attempts to crack open those potty-training library books.
Here are the top five things I read, several times over:
- There are signs from your toddler that help you know they’re ready to be potty trained.
- You can potty train your child in THREE days!!
- Let your child be naked as you are teaching them how to use the potty.
- Make sure to have juice and salty foods on hand so they need to go to the bathroom more often.
- Have “big boy/girl” underwear to help motivate your child.
I felt prepared and motivated when I woke up one beautiful Saturday morning and, with my husband, excitedly announced to Ajax “WE’RE GOING TO USE THE POTTY TODAY!! YAY!!” And then I quickly figured out that all of those article and pins and books were talking about GIRLS when they referenced potty training.
The signs about whether your toddler is ready?
Yup, all there. Someone just forgot to write down that while boys are smart enough to know “I have to poop, go to the potty,” they just don’t care. Poop in their pants, no probs. Oh, they peed all over their shirt. Eeehh, whateves. Frankly, I should have seen this one coming because I’m not even sure my husband is fully potty trained… just kidding!
Potty Train in THREE days? Again, GIRLS. I mean, my mom said I was potty trained in a day.
I’m not sure how I missed this part the first time, but upon second read, I noticed that an article three-day potty training mentions at the end to let a boy be naked in the house for three months to help him not potty in his clothes. Um, who in their right mind wants to tail a child all day, every day, for three months?!
The unintended consequences of salt and juice…
Now I don’t think the advice to feed your child juice and salty foods really makes a difference whether we’re talking boys or girls. But let me tell you what that advice did for my little guy. Take the just don’t care attitude and we’re gonna learn this in three days so we’re not leaving the house and add to it diarrhea from all the juice he was drinking that he doesn’t normally drink.
That was a super helpful tip…
So now I have one tiny toddler running around the house naked, holding his bottom with his hands because he is nervous that he is going to sneeze, and “poopies” will come out. IF he feels like it, he will make his way to the potty. But I shouldn’t really expect that because whatever he is doing is seriously way more interesting. It was three days of that. Oh, and while he loved his Thomas the Train and Star Wars undies, he didn’t shed a tear about pooping or peeing in them during the few times we went out of the house during our three day confinement.
Well, I cried.
Currently, my son is wearing a diaper, and his new favorite shirt: Potty Training is for Quitters.
So, my advice to you mamas with boys? Diapers. Diapers until they’re like… ten. And don’t be fooled by that “Mama! I need a diaper; I pooped” signs and occasional excitement over the new potty that sits in the bathroom. Don’t even fall for the “I have to go potty.” I guarantee it’s just because he wants a chocolate chip that he gets after he goes in the potty. The other 15 times he needs to go, you’ll just be cleaning up poop and pee from the floor.
Bottom line: Wait until they can train themselves.
Author’s Note : This article is meant to be sarcastic in nature, although entirely true of my experience. Every child is different and while I’m sure your toddler boy picked up on potty training right away and poops his golden nuggets into the pot on cue, I happen to think you are the exception, not the rule. Also, I’m very unwilling to potty train for weeks on end. I’m fine with diapers… for like, ever.