Shattered Visions of Motherhood


When I found out I was expecting my oldest child, an image appeared in my brain that defined what I thought motherhood would be like: It’s a dreamy scene with soft afternoon light as a mother and child sleep sweetly on the living room couch.  The wind gently moves the sheer curtains and you can almost hear a lullaby in the breeze. I can’t for the life of me figure out why this became my established vision of motherhood–I didn’t even have sheer curtains. What’s funnier is that I was given a baby that shattered that image by not sleeping.  Like, at all.

Less than four years later with three children in the picture, I would instead begin to define motherhood as a Jackson Pollock painting.  It was messy but beautiful.  It was exhausting, but fulfilling.  It was controlled chaos.

It wasn’t too many years before the toddler years passed, and I felt like we were in the sweet spot.  Everybody could wipe their own heinies and feed themselves, but I was still a prized commodity for snuggling and answering questions.

Now, on the precipice of adolescence and hormones, I find myself looking for the vision I want to experience in these special years to come. I feel like my kids will definitely be smarter than me in a short time, so all I can truly offer is my love, my support, and my life experiences.

At each stage of motherhood, I am amazed by how wonderful it all is while wondering how it could possibly get any better.  But, I struggle to strike the balance between shaping them into the young adults I think they should be and letting them find their own independence. I feel so blessed that we get to experience this thing called “motherhood”, even when the days are hard.  I laugh when I think back on the sweet image that never proved true, but I smile at the memories we’ve made that are so much better than my imagination could ever provide.

What did you think motherhood would be like? Did your visions come to pass, or were they completely shattered? 

Brie counts her blessings everyday as a happy wife and mom to 3 amazing kiddos.  She embraces her role as a homemaker by organizing, meal planning, and budgeting.  After 10 years of wishing and hoping, life is a dream for her as a Colorado transplant.  Brie hopes to inspire you, but she’ll settle for making you laugh.  Brie is passionate about fashion, frugality, food, and fun and you can follow along with these passions on her instagram, @inanorderlyfashion