Stop it. Yes, I am talking to you. I am talking to you- the one that talks herself out of things before she tries; the one that believes now, or has always believed that she is not good enough, smart enough, skinny enough, or pretty enough. I am talking to the woman whom claims that she has a “sense of humor,” but always makes herself the butt of her own jokes. You are beautiful. You are worthy, and you are doing a pretty good job! We have enough people talking about us, shaming us, or ignoring us. Let’s not contribute to that. We are amazing. We are capable. We are strong, and we are victorious!
Six ways to combat the negative self-talk:
- DO. NOT. COMPARE. I think I write this in every single post, but it is so important that we stop comparing our weaknesses to someone else’s strengths. You are not less beautiful when a beautiful woman walks in the room. You are not shorter because someone else is taller. You are not stupid because someone else understands current events, history, literature or another topic that you may be unfamiliar with; you may have a deeper understanding of something else. You are not a bad cook because someone makes a better meal. Embrace others strengths and your own. Accept your weaknesses, and if they really do bother you… do something about it. But realize, that you will always have failures and you will always have weaknesses. You will also ALWAYS have some really wonderful and beautiful traits that should be celebrated! Focus, talk about and think about the “good” rather than the “bad.”
- Stop being the BUTT of your jokes: I am all about laughing at one’s self, but there is a thin line between humor and insult. If you wouldn’t say it to another, DO NOT say it about yourself, no matter how “funny” it might be.
- Focus on the little things you did well and repeat them out loud: For example, instead of thinking, “this house is trashed, “ say to yourself “my children made some great memories today,” or even when we mess up, instead of “man, I always mess things up,” rather think, “wow, I screwed up, but tomorrow I will do things differently, and today I will make right what I can.” Get into a positive habit. Train your brain to see the sunshine in the storm.
- Affirmation: Post scriptures, and words of affirmation all over your house. Dance to your favorite songs! Speak life into yourself.
- Journal: Note a few good things every day. It is amazing how quickly your life will change when you list the good things about it. It is a domino effect. Try it. You will see.
- Encourage others: Speak life into your little’s heart. Tell them everything they are doing well, and watch them magically come alive. Tell your man why he is so awesome(Every. Single. Day.) Brag about him on Facebook, to his friends, and family. Reminding both him (and yourself) why he is the one you picked. If you are single (or not) pick one person a day/week to sincerely and authentically compliment. Remind those you love why you love them (and while they are around to hear it.)
We are our own worst critics. Let go of the shame. Start seeing the really great things you are doing, and then the really wonderful person you are. You are worthy. You are valuable. You can do it. You will do it. Get it!