I sat on the floor at home, snapping Legos together, not knowing quite what I was building. My son sat across from me, building as well, and talking away about his day. As we sat there chatting, my mind was full of all the things I “should” be doing. I should be putting some laundry into the washer. I should be sorting that coat closet full of jackets and gloves that the kids have outgrown. And I should be starting dinner. But, as my son chattered on about his friends at school and the conversations they had that day, I realized this was valuable time that was best spent connecting with my son, doing something he loved, and letting him share his day.
Later that night, I sat on my daughter’s bed while she told me all about what she was learning in her forensics class. I tried not to cringe as she walked me through how her team arrived at their decision on cause and time of death in their mock investigation. I don’t love true crime and these details are sometimes a little much for me. But her explanation flowed right into some other friend interactions she had during her day and how it made her feel. I again realized as I sat there that although the time talking included some gory details, it also included her feelings, her thoughts, and allowed her to vent and be herself. It was such valuable time with her!
Taking an Interest
Something important I’ve learned as a mom of tweens and teens is that taking an interest in their interests and hobbies matter. It matters A LOT!! Taking time to dig into what they love means the world to them. It helps them feel valued, loved, and heard. They know that in that moment, they are my top priority and that is so important! They are learning not only what it feels like to be valued, but how to value those around them.
As a 45-year-old mom, building with Legos isn’t my go-to hobby. But, taking time to build with my son builds the trust he has in me, and he often shares his heart in those moments. The same is true for my daughter. If I show interest and ask questions about her favorite class, her comfort level grows. The conversation frequently leads to conversations about her struggles with friends and other challenges she is facing. Sharing these moments with my kids is not only good for my soul, but good for theirs as they grow and mature. Let’s face it. Being a teen in today’s society is hard. They need all the support we can give them!
The Final Countdown
I’m realizing every day that I am in the final countdown with my kids. Before I know it, they will be embarking on their own adventures, and I won’t get to have these sweet moments with them. That means I need to make this time a priority! It means that it’s okay to put housekeeping aside for a minute or push my bedtime a little later to open the doors for these treasured times.
My hope is that by taking time and effort to build this relationship of trust now, they will continue to reach out, after they leave home to refresh, reconnect, revisit, and rebuild. We raise our kids to send them out into the world and make it a better place – but my heart always hopes they know they will never be more loved or valued than they are at home! I hope they know there is no place like home, and you can ALWAYS come home!