Do you remember those days leading up to your life changing forever? I’m talking about the days right before you and your partner entered the parenthood club, of course. Those days were filled with such anticipation and well, ignorance if we are all being honest of your little bundle of joy coming home. The discussions of how you thought your child would be, and what you thought you would be, and what you thought you would never do as a parent were never ending. Then, after the hazing of a newborn you began to realize just how many of those “I’ll nevers” began to happen in your life. These were the things that seemed appalling to you, but now seem like the key to sanity on some days. Because now, we all know every mama’s motto: Do whatever you need to.
With all that said, here is my humorous list of things we promised we’d never do as parents, that I’ve compiled from myself and a few other mamas–and the real life applications of them.
Feed my children fast food or junk food. Well, when little Susie or Johnny haven’t eaten any of the healthy meals you so graciously slaved over for days, you get yourself to the nearest drive-thru and give them whatever they want to get something in their bodies.
Let any children sleep in our bed. Okay, my child refuses to sleep in our bed. But, I guarantee at least one of them will want to at some point, so I might as well get over this one.
Buy a minivan. I got one when I was pregnant, ’nuff said.
Enjoy a trip to the grocery store, by myself. If it happens to be target, that is the cherry on top. Especially after I hit up Starbucks…
Spank. There is a time and a place for this. If you have a two year old that seems to be anywhere and at anytime.
Have a messy house. Haha, this one gets me every time. Somedays, what’s the point?
Have children lose it in the store. I just ignore them now, and go on my merry way. Stares and all!
Eat my children’s leftover food from their plate. Four cheerios and two half eaten nuggets, yes please. Don’t even bother to reheat it.
Yell at my children. I promise kids have selective hearing. Sometimes a higher octave will get through to them.
Let them eat in the car. My strategy for car trips revolves around this one. Hand them cheerios and you’ll get from point A to point B peacefully.
Let television babysit. Need to get something done-without children interrupting? Yeah, turn that movie on, girl. They will zone out. But, you can give them some of that healthy food you slaved over to even it out if you want.
Let my baby use a pacifier. I actually forced my second child to take it, because I could. not. handle. the. screaming!
Cater to my kids. When they are sick, anything goes. And even sometimes when they are healthy to just avoid the inevitable tantrum…
Let my two year old still drink out of a bottle. Look, parenting is hard enough without this mom-guilt we place on ourselves. I promise we won’t let them go off to school still using a bottle, diaper, pacifier, etc..
Let myself go. Okay. Not totally. But these precious kiddos sure do come before myself.
Use bribery, for anything.
I use it for everything. Okay, maybe just potty training.
Mamas take heart. After all, it is a balance, this parenting thing. There will be days when this entire list applies, and some that don’t.
And also, never say never!
What would you add to this list?