5 Facts That Prove My Two Year Old Is Trying To Ruin My Life


I don’t know about you, but right now I am in that stage where I feel like I will never really get a moment’s peace in my life. With a 9 year old, 2 year old and an 8 month old (ALL BOYS!), my days and nights are filled with high energy, high volume and high dirt content. But out of all my boys, one is determined to ruin my life: my 2 year old. The other day, as I was sulking about it all, I just had to laugh. It was like I was on some kind of hidden camera show, and I was convinced he was secretly messing with me.

Here are 5 facts that prove my 2 year old is trying to ruin my life:

 1. He loves a certain food one minute and DESPISES it the next.

This kid loves to mess with me when it comes to food.

Literally, within one day the following can happen. He asks me for some cheese for a snack. I lovingly cut the cheese in bite size pieces. He looks at it and gobbles it down as if he has never eaten before in his life. He says things like, “Yummy! Thank you Momma!” Four hours later, he asks for more cheese. I gladly cut up more cheese and put it in front of him. He looks at it as if I have secretly poisoned the cheese. He cautiously puts a piece in his mouth, chews it and then spits it out yelling “YUCKY, NO, YUCKY!”

Ummmm, am I the only one that remembers your love for this same cheese earlier today? Stop messing with me kid. 

2. He has some kind of radar to know when I have made plans.

My 2 year old loves to mess with me when it comes to his sleeping habits.

Most days I don’t have anywhere to go (I know, I am so boring and pathetic). On those days, he feels the need to wake up promptly at 6am and only take one 9-minute nap during the day. But God forbid, I made plans for the day. Because then, he will make sure to sleep in or take amazingly long naps that force me to have to wake him up. It’s as if he KNOWS I have made plans and he’s secretly determined to mess them up.

Again, determined to ruin my life.

3. He knows exactly when I am about to relax.

Please tell me this has happened to you Mommas (and Dads!).

You’ve had a long day and everyone is exhausted. You are so excited that it’s finally bedtime because everyone needs some sleep. The 2 year old goes to bed like a dream, passing out as soon as his head hits the pillow. Phew! Surely he will sleep like a brick. You get yourself ready to go to bed, relax, maybe read a book or watch a show.

Literally, AS SOON AS your head hits the pillow, or your butt hits the couch, that little “angel” starts crying about not having the right blanket on him. Or the rain being too loud. Or his pillow falling on the floor. And if he really wants to mess with you, he’ll cry just loud enough to wake up the others.

Life. ruined.

4. He always prefers Dad over me.

Ok, this one really hurts my heart.

I carried this little stinker for 9 months, labored hour after painful hour and kept you alive from the nourishment of my bosoms (and with that came clogged ducts, sore nips, and saggy deflated boobs). I bathe you, feed you, wipe your butt and love on you all day long, but when given the choice between mom and dad, my 2 year old will ALWAYS pick Dad. He won’t even let me change his diaper if dad is there to do it (not really complaining about that one, but come on!). I swear sometimes I see a hint of a smile on his face when he’s breaking my heart into a million pieces.

Proof that he enjoys messing with me.

5. He loves nothing more than a clean playroom.

This kid seeks out anything clean and tidy and acts like he has an aversion to organization. I just clean up the play room, putting all the toys in their proper bins and he will walk right over, look me right in my eyes, and without breaking eye contact, pick up a bin and dump it on the floor. And then leave the room. This kid LOVES to mess with me.                                     

Now, of course I love this crazy kid more than life itself and although some days it seems like he’s out to get me and send me to the looney bin, I know he loves me back.

I’d love to feel less alone and hear the funny ways your kids try to ruin your life, too! Comment below.


  1. HILARIOUS! And although my son is not quite yet two- this sounds vaguely in the works. Perhaps there is some kind of baby council that prepares them for such shennanigins? Its a good thing they’re cute.

  2. So hilarious! My kids are the same way! They love to get sick when I have something super important going on (which is rare) and it’s always like a fever of 104. Seriously, how does that even happen? I’m so glad that I’m not the only one out there suffering!

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