Whether you did it on purpose. Whether you protested it. Or whether you fell into it. You are now sharing your bed with people who also share your eyes and noses.
I fell into it, and it feels like a black hole.
In our case it happens in the dead of night. Our toddler becomes a ninja at night and ends up in our bed — without our even knowing it. Sometimes, we don’t even become aware he’s there until the early morning hours when the sun is peeking through the shades. It isn’t until we go to roll over, and all of the sudden we are met with a lumpy and sweaty “bed” beneath us. Our son lets out a moan from being squished, and then settles back into his sleep.
Meanwhile my husband and I are locking eyes, having a silent conversation about when he came in because we are trying to salvage any more sleep we can squeeze out of the morning. Since it is game over when he wakes up.
We talk a big talk of not letting this go on any longer. We realize our sleep is suffering because of our unwanted guest. And I finally figured out where some of those random leg bruises have come from — my active, sleeping toddler.
Here’s the thing—I secretly love it.
I love that my son seeks us out for comfort. Even though the rational part of me is concerned about his relying on us too much, I love when I wake up first and find my husband has a 30-pound toddler snuggled up next to his long torso. These years will never come again. I don’t know when it will happen, but one day our children will not come into our room anymore. They will not seek comfort from us in the night. Only during these young years do we get the privilege of helping our children navigate a dark, silent room to learn the art of peaceful sleep.
Despite how many kids we wake up to in the morning, we still are intentional about seeking each other out.
We will reposition whoever has snuck into our bed, so that we can get five minutes of embracing each other and savoring the morning light. We will lie there until our toddlers’ body alarm clocks go off to officially start our day.
Who knows how we will work this out going forward, but I know that for now, my mama heart is full.
And so is our bed.