I was texting a friend the other day asking if she needed anything. She had just given birth to a sweet baby boy via emergency C-section. Her son was in the NICU due to arriving several weeks early. We had gone through the whole “let me know how I can help” thing.

I had been given a meal train link. But then I asked if it would be helpful for us to take her 3 year old sometimes while they go back and forth to the hospital.

You know what she said?

“Thank you so much! Answer to prayer!”

They had been stressing about how they were going to juggle everything.

But why?

Why do we (probably all of us — myself included) do this?

Why do we try to have it all figured out ourselves?

I happen to know that this particular friend has an amazing community around her (because we are part of the same community, and they supported us so well when Karalee was born).

Why do we not take advantage of those around us who are willing to help? We believe we somehow have to make it all work on our own. If someone offers help, we may accept it.

But we never reach out and ask for help ourselves.

Is this just a product of our culture? Is it a sense of pride? Is it the idea that we want to be Super-Mom and get it all done? What is it that makes us feel bad for needing to ask for help?

If we simply asked for help when we needed it, how much easier would our lives be? How much closer in community would we be? Our lives would be much more intertwined with those around us. Helping each other is a healthy part of doing life with other people.

And people love to help! Contrary to popular belief, we love to feel needed. We love to know we’ve eased someone else’s burden in some way.

So the next time you find yourself in a predicament, ASK FOR HELP! Those around you may not even know you’re struggling (sometimes we hide that so well!), or they may not know the best way to be helpful. But the people in your support system are ready and willing to do just that — support!

ask for help

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