Missing my Dad this Thanksgiving

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This is the first year we will not be able to celebrate Thanksgiving with my dad. He died last year in the beginning of December.

His birthday is November 24. Sometimes, Thanksgiving would fall on his birthday. For that reason, we usually celebrated his birthday on Thanksgiving, with everyone going to my parent’s house for turkey and pumpkin goodness.

Missing Dad

As it gets closer to his birthday, I find myself missing my dad and almost in limbo about what to do. How will it affect the holiday? Should we celebrate as normal? That doesn’t feel possible and yet what do we do instead?

I worry about how my mother will react, my sister, myself. Before this, I never understood how hard it is to navigate grief and how unexpected it can be. Sometimes, I find myself crying when I drive down the streets I took to rush him to urgent care or later to his hospital. Sometimes, I don’t.

My littles knew him, but they are so young, I worry they won’t remember him. His laugh, sarcastic sense of humor, love of movies and fishing. My youngest looks so much like him, with blonde rather than red hair.

Like my little, I have his blue eyes and red hair. I am thankful he is my dad.

Be Thankful

Be thankful for your loved ones. It can change so quickly.

We have started to listen to music my dad loved. Lots of country and folk. It makes me happy to hear my littles sing songs I used to sing with my dad and on vacations. This is one way they can continue to connect to him.

They really love some of the songs we used to sing and enjoy. It makes my heart happy to know parts of him will live on through me and them. So, while my heart may be heavy this Thanksgiving, it will also be full of shared memories and songs.

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I am married to a wonderful cook named Bret(Thank goodness because I love to eat but not cook). I have two boys that started Kindergarten and Pre-school this year. I am thankful they are fed at school as they try to eat us out of house and home. We love to hike, game, swim, watch Bluey and anything with Superheroes and read. Currently, I teach history at Southern New Hampshire University online. Summer and Fall are my favorite seasons as I love the heat but also watching the leaves change and the nights turn crisp. Halloween and Christmas are my favorite holidays, and my house is decorated from September to the New Year.

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