I’m Not Alone
Slumped down on the kitchen floor with my back firmly pressed against the cabinet door, I found myself silently crying and hoping I could push my tears back long enough to suspend the knowledge from my children that mommy feels like throwing it all up in the air and walking away. It was simply a moment of overwhelm. But it was one moment, heaped on top of a pile of many moments throughout the day. I had finally yelled and lost my temper, completely flipping my lid! This was not what I envisioned when I had started the day with hope and plans for a fun day with the kids!
Mama, have you found yourself in a moment like this? Perhaps induced by lack of sleep, loneliness from being quarantined, or simply a toddler telling you “NO” enough times! These are the moments we need to yell out: Mayday!!
Dark moments, or even whole days that seem to consume you are not yours alone. Being a mom is a great and high calling. Some days at home with small and growing children can feel isolating and heavy. We are not meant to carry this load alone. Sometimes we don’t even know how we’ve gotten to that point, but find ourselves paralyzed in our emotions feeling like there is no way to escape the mess.
The mess after all was what probably sparked this fire in the first place. “Why do these children constantly have to make a mess? How am I supposed to keep up with everything and still thrive?” The thoughts swirl in my head, yet I remain stuck on the kitchen floor. The moment feels heavier and more burdensome than the moment merits. How do I pick myself up and move forward with my day?
Mayday: Call for Help
Moments like this one—desperate moments in motherhood. I refer to them as my Mayday Moments. A call for help. The temptation in these times is to believe that I’m the only one who is feeling this way, and I have to get better and fix this all by myself. The truth, however, is that through motherhood I am embedded into a community of women who’ve gone before me and likely found themselves in a similar situation.
The tricky part about getting out of your head in these moments is that the lie of “I’m all alone” actually feels true in the moment.
I’ve devised a plan to help me combat this over the years. Through many trials and challenging days in the throes of motherhood, I’ve learned a few things to help me find my way out of those dark and isolating Mayday Moments.
5 Ways to Bounce Back
1. Create a list of safe women who have offered their help to you in any capacity and write down their names. Do this when you’re in a great mental space, so you don’t second guess if you should call on them or not. If they said they are there for you, they mean it! I call these my SOS Sisters.
2. Go outside. Even if it just means stepping onto the front porch. Creating a change of atmosphere can shift perspective and help you remember there is life outside of your four walls.
3. Turn on music! I usually choose praise and worship music to set my heart on God, or sometimes I go straight to 90s Pop and dance my way out of it! Maybe for you, it’s a good old country two-step song!
4. Create a vision statement for motherhood. Write it out and post it where you can see it. In the moments where it can feel confusing, this can help you re-center and remind yourself why what you’re doing matters and where you are headed in the long-term.
5. Look at your camera roll. In the difficult moments, we can easily see the bad, but the motherhood journey is truly FULL of amazingly good moments! Those children, the ones making the messes—they love you more than anything in the world!
Be kind of yourself, mama! You’re not alone, and you’re actually not the first (or the last!) mama who has been here.