I remember needing you.

I remember needing you when I fell off my bike.

I remember needing you when the sound of thunder filled the sky.

I remember needing you when I had a bad dream.

I remember needing you when I had those first-day-of-school jitters.

I remember needing you when I didn’t do as well on that test as I’d hoped.

I remember needing you when I was told I didn’t make the team.

I remember needing you when I had my heart broken.

I remember needing you when I was applying to college.

I remember needing you when I moved into my dorm.

But I thought that was where it would end. I figured once I became an “adult,” I wouldn’t need you anymore. And especially once I had children of my own, once I became a mother and you a grandma, that they would need me, I’d no longer need you, and that would be that. The circle of life.

Gosh, how wrong I was.

Because I needed you to scoop me up in your arms when I’d fallen off my bike, take my hand to combat those first-day-of-school jitters, and hold me as I sobbed over my freshly broken heart.

But now? Now that I’m a mom, raising my own children, trying my best to figure it all out?

Now, I need you more.

I need you to tell me if the fever is high enough to warrant concern.

I need you to tell me what you think that cry means.

I need you to tell me how you would’ve handled that tantrum.

I need you to tell me how to juggle it all.

I need you to tell me how to navigate all the grumpy attitudes and eye rolls and hormones.

I need you to tell me that it will all be OK.

I need you to tell me to cherish this season, because all too soon it will be gone.

I need you to tell me that you felt clueless, too, but you did it anyway.

Because motherhood is so much harder than I ever could’ve imagined. So much better, but so much harder.

And not everyone has the gift that I have. Not all moms have the ability to turn to their own mother as they journey through motherhood. So I want to recognize it as the gift that it is, cherishing each moment that I have you—your grace, your wisdom, your help.

And I know I’ll still get a little frustrated with you at times. I won’t always heed your advice, and there will be plenty of times that I’ll do things a bit differently than you would have.

But I finally get you. Why you did the things you did; why you were the way you were.

And needing you?

Now I understand that I will always need you. That I could do this without you—that I would figure it out, find other family and incredible friends to look to for support and advice—but I’m so incredibly grateful that I don’t have to.

Because I have you. And what a blessing it is.

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Krista is wife to her high school sweetheart and best friend, Randy, and mom to her two sweet boys, Hudson and Jones. She’s a former first-grade teacher turned writer, using her words and heart to uplift and encourage mamas on this wild, beautiful, messy journey of motherhood. She loves spending time with family and friends, exploring the incredible outdoors, exercising (#alonetime), long strolls around the neighborhood to pass the witching hour, rooting for too many teams across too many sports to name, snuggling on the couch with her hubby and binge-watching Suits, and baring her mama heart over at Kisses From Boys with Krista Ward.


    • What a blessing! I’m so glad that she has been there for you and has supported you through such a beautiful but incredibly crazy time! It’s certainly true that moms never stop mothering! Thanks so much for reading, Meral!

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