Replacing Offense with Maturity


“Maturity is when a person hurts you, and you try to understand their situation; not hurt them back.”

I wish, no, I pray, that more “adults” would start displaying more of that type of maturity.  I’m writing this because my heart is deeply troubled.  Mostly, it’s just sad.  Sad for people, for what we’ve become, for what we could be.  Two occurrences happened this week that illustrate what I think is a huge problem in today’s world.  Immaturity.  My husband witnessed two individuals in his work place gawking out the office window all day at a car that had inconveniently taken up two spaces.  They would not let it go.  One even proclaimed that he wished he had some trash to throw on it.  Really?  I mean, really?  These are grown men I’m talking about.  The second incident that came to my attention while I was browsing a local online group.  Someone had posted a picture of a car that had parked so close to their own, they had to use the passenger door to enter their vehicle.  Immediately the comments and criticism started to fly about the seemingly inconsiderate driver who would do such a thing.  A couple people said they would have keyed the offending car.  Again, I ask, really?  I admit that it’s a rude thing to do and incredibly inconvenient to have happen to you. It’s happened to me too.  But purposefully and vengefully destroying someone else’s property because they upset you?  What if the person didn’t do it on purpose?  What if they needed to park close because they were a mother handling three or four kids on her own, rushing a sick baby into the building, and the person next to her had parked less than ideally.  You just don’t know.

People are going to be selfish and inconsiderate.  That’s just the world we live in.  But when your reaction to being offended is to offend in return, are you really any better than the offender?  

What ever happened to the mind old adage, “treat others how you want to be treated?”  How many of us are showing the next generation how to live that out?

What are you teaching you children with your words and your actions when someone wrongs you?

maturity and offense

I think about the officers that have to try and control all the chaos that our anger and immaturity create.  I think about the parents that kiss their kids goodbye before leaving for work, knowing that it might be for the last time.  The wives that embrace their husbands knowing every day could be the last.  I think about the moms that dread the conversation that may one day come, when they have to try and explain to their little ones how daddy is not coming home, ever, because someone could not control their anger.

Many times we are offended by acts of selfishness or ignorance.  Offended by people who are in such a hurry, or so absorbed in their own affairs that they forget, or just don’t care, that they are actually sharing the earth with other human beings.  Before you get all up in arms agreeing with me, ask yourself, how are YOU doing with that? Can we all just take a good, honest, look at ourselves?   How many times have you done something inconsiderate, or a little selfish at the possible expense of someone else?

Do you always put your shopping cart in the cart return?  Or have you left it somewhere for someone else to deal with because it was convenient for you? Do you always use your turn signals?  Or have you had to make another driver wait longer than necessary to turn because you just didn’t feel like it.  Ever leave a stray item that your kid grabbed while shopping on some random shelf?  Have you failed to fairly tip your server at a restaurant because of something that was out of their control, like the quality of your food maybe?  I can go on and on.

May I dare suggest we try to be a little less angry and so easily offended?  Perhaps let things roll off our shoulders a little bit more, and maybe even consider other people.

Nobody is perfect.  I’m not, you’re not, and neither is the next guy.  Can we stop getting so upset and offended over trivial things?  You never know the circumstances surrounding the person who offended you. It was most likely unintentional.  And yeah, you might have been the “victim” of some random jerk, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk in return.

If more adults would start acting like mature adults, we’d have a lot less problems on our hands, not to mention a safer and friendlier city.