The Challenges of Being a Young Mom

I had my son when I was 20 and my husband was 23. He was planned; we were over the moon to be starting our family and we were as ready for him as new parents can be. However, becoming a young mom presented me with some unique challenges while navigating motherhood.

“Are You His Mom?”

First of all, sometimes people ask if I’m his mom. And I get it. I look young, and it’s easy to assume I’m his nanny or babysitter. Maybe even an older sister. I understand where the confusion lies. It is frustrating, but I’m going to be 38 when he graduates high school, and that does provide me with some comfort when I get sick of reminding people that I am, in fact, his mother.

The Inevitable Follow-Up Questions

People are always surprised to find out I’m a mom when I’m not with my son. It usually ends a conversation or creates some interesting follow-up questions like:

• “Was he planned?”
• “Is your husband military?”
• And “Are you Mormon?”

Just so everyone’s aware, you don’t have to be military or religious to start your family in your early twenties.

Difficulty Accepting Help

As a young mom, it’s hard for me to accept help. I’ve had moments that made me feel like I couldn’t be a good mom because of my age. It felt like if I accepted help, it meant I wasn’t capable of being a good mother. Asking for a couple of hours of babysitting felt wrong because I thought people would think I was shying away from responsibility. Let me assure all young moms out there that this couldn’t be further from the truth. All moms need help sometimes! And accepting help doesn’t make you a bad mom or less capable in any way. You deserve a break! Ask for help when you need it.

Unsolicited Advice

Some people assume that I NEED their unsolicited advice. This is something that unfortunately all moms experience, but having a child young seems to make this far more common. It feels like people just assume that because I’m young, I can’t possibly know what’s best for my child.

I have some advice for people who want to give unsolicited advice: Only give advice if it will make the mother’s life easier and can be done right away. For example, don’t tell me I need to put socks on my baby if you don’t have socks in your back pocket ready to give to my child. If my toddler is crying and you think it’s because he’s hungry, don’t tell me that unless you have a snack you’re willing to offer up. Otherwise, even with the best of intentions, it’ll just make the person you’re trying to help feel bad. If you don’t have a way to immediately help, try giving encouragement instead of advice. All moms can benefit from a little bit of encouragement.

You’re a Good Mom!

If you’re a young mom, I hope you know that you’re doing a great job. Motherhood is always challenging and being a young mom just adds another layer of complexity to it all. It’s a unique experience and although it can be hard, it’s also so beautiful. Being a young mom does not make you inferior. Your concerns, struggles, and triumphs are still just as valid as anyone else’s, regardless of your age.