On the Eve of Motherhood: An Open Letter to My Friend

This post was originally published on June 28, 2020

My dear friend is having her first baby! And, as exciting as this seems, it’s been quite an experience. To start, she is single, and she is nearly 40. This pregnancy has been trying, confusing, and painful. But it’s also been a miracle, as she had been told she could never conceive. Here are my thoughts to her as she embarks upon the magical journey of motherhood.


I wanted to share with you some thoughts before your sweet baby girl arrives tomorrow. I know that this pregnancy has been turbulent for you. From the day you found out you were pregnant, to navigating how to tell others about your situation. Throw in a new job and a Pandemic and you have one heck of a ride during these nine months.
I know that you are uncertain and scared. I know that you are tired and annoyed and worried. But I also know that you are going to be an amazing mother. How do I know this?

You are SMART

You have made an amazing career for yourself and are sought after for your expertise and knowledge. And, not only are you book smart, you are street smart, too. You do your research and make informed, educated decisions. I know that your child will have your brains and your wit — and that you’ll teach her everything she needs to know to grow into a strong, smart woman.

You are KIND

Your heart is enormous. You have an uncanny knack for including others and making friends. And, you are generous. I am thankful for all the times your generosity has benefited me. Not just financially, but with your friendship. You are always there, offering your shoulder to cry on when people need it. From dropping what you are doing for dinner or providing a place to crash when I am on business trips, to springing for a weekend away in Mexico, your kindness always shines through. Kindness attracts kindness, so I know that you will raise a child with kindness in her heart, as well.


Your warm personality attracts others and allows you to build connections with people that run deep. Like a magnet, you attract others and they want to be around you. You listen when others speak and remember the details that encapsulate each individual. You feel what others are feeling and you often put others before yourself. I believe that this comes naturally for you and the birth of your girl will take your caring nature to new heights.


One of your best and brightest characteristics is how much love you give. Over the past two decades, I have seen you lay it all on the line for love. You have grown and matured through every heartbreak and lesson learned. You have done the work it takes to be introspective and self-assured. Always there, you do not give up on those you love. This unconditional love will surround your little girl and she will know that she is always supported and loved by her mother.

You are FUN

Some of my fondest (and wildest) memories include you! From exploring foreign lands to singing our hearts out at concerts to many football games, I know that when I am with you I will have a good time. And generally, an epic story to share! You make me laugh so hard I cry. And you are always up to try something new. Throw in a little bit of sass, and I know you will instill your zest for life in your daughter.

I am excited to see what this next chapter in your life will hold. I am proud to be your friend because I have seen your transformation over the last 20 years. Having you as a friend has added value and richness to my life. You are a positive influence in my life and in the lives of others.

I hope to provide the same for you — love, kindness, caring, wisdom, and fun — during the next 20 years and beyond. I want you to know that I am here for you. Call me at any time and I will drop what I am doing to be by your side. You can ask for my advice — and take it or not! You can come to me without fear of judgment. I am here to support you the way you have supported me over the years.

I love you.


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Dana has lived in Colorado for the last 17 years. She met her husband, Ben, in Boulder and they made the move to Colorado Springs. Together, they are busy raising two children. Dana is the Director of Meeting the Challenge, Inc., a national disability compliance consulting firm. She is an active community volunteer and has served several boards. When she is not working, Dana can be found cheering on her son and daughter's travel hockey teams at area ice rinks. She enjoys spending time hiking in the mountains with her Vizsla, raising backyard chickens, and cheering on her Alma Mater's Michigan State Spartans!